An Intro to Paving the EarthBy Ben (2000/08/02)
So, why do we want to Pave the Earth? Because right now, the earth is crap. It is littered with trees, oceans, and tons of animals. It is also rich in natural resources and is cursed with a blue sky. But the main reason, is that we want to drive very fast, without having to conform to the turns and traffic patterns that are inherent to the current inferior patches of pavement. How infuriating is it when you get going at a good clip, and the light turns red? On a paved earth (read perfect earth), there would be no need for stopping or turning to avoid creaming some unsightly four-legged creature.
The specifics of everything have been written about in great detail. Here is a list of sites you should visit for more information:
- Usenet: alt.pave.the.earth
- alt.pave.the.earth resource base -- one world, one people, one slab of asphalt.
- Pave the Earth! -- one asphalt, one people.
- Pave The Planet Earth
- Pave Place -- paving the way to a paved tomorrow.
Out of all of those links, the absolutely most important resource is alt.pave.the.earth. Several of the original leaders still post there quite frequently. In fact, I was reading it today (8/2/00) and saw a discussion over why the hypercars had to have 4 wheels as opposed to 2. Here is part of the discussion:
This kind of quality wisdom and insight is handed out to future pitslaves every day on apte.
The only problem with all of this, is that I neither drink beer or eat cheeseburgers (I just like plain burgers with ketchup). So, undoubtedly I will be labeled a heretic against the Holy Order of the Pavement, and be sentenced to forced servitude for the remainder of my days in the parking garage as a pitslave, never to drive a hypercar at Mach 1 under a chromed moon.
Yet, even in the face of this inevitable fate, I have set up Pave the Earth Radio, to further the Plan [tm]. Maybe, if I'm lucky, the Holy Order of the Pavement [tm] will see what I have done here, and at least let me be a Pit Boss [tm]. That is my dream. That is why we want to Pave the Earth.
Plus, the plan is to start with Colorado.