Beggars Need Not Call
By Melli (2000/08/04)Author's Note: hey Ben, if my rant sucks....don't show it to anyone....
Now, I don't want you think that I am some heartless, cold, unfeeling jerk. I have been known to be cruel at times, yes, but when it comes to helping others, I usually extend a helping hand. I have no problem donating a food basket to a needy family during thanks giving, or helping some poor kid in a wheelchair attend summer camp. Heck, I have even donated money so that some old geezer can pay for their monthly prescriptions bill. But after enduring so much harrassment from charitable organizations, I think I am going to put my check book away and close the door on the needy.
I know that may seem cruel, and you are probably thinking, " Now, I know why I never liked that bi*c*!". But I beg you, there are so many reasons to dislike me, but this is not one of them. You see, after you donate so much to various organizations, they seem to spread the word that you are some fool that will donate money to just about any cause. I once was even approached about "adopting" some llama in South America. I thought, cool, my very own llama. I even picked out a name for it, Sam. Sam the llama. I imagined taking my llama Sam on walks, introducing him to all the other llamas on the block. I imagined my Sam's expression on Christmas morning when he saw how many lovely gifts Santa Claus had left for him under the tree. I was going to be the best mother a llama ever had!! Then I realized that I couldn't bring my llama home. He would have to stay in south America, with his "family". I would have to pay for taking care him, but I could never have him by my side? I nixed that idea pretty quick, and said good bye to Sam.
Day after day people would call me at home, during the worst possible times, and TELL me that I should donate money to their cause. Every organization under the sun had my phone number. I finally had enough when this lovely local organization, the Champaign Fraternal Order of Police, insisted on continuous phone calls. I had problems with this group in the past. I actually use to donate to every damn drive that they had. I would tell them to pick up the checks in the afternoon because I sleep in the morning. They would try and tell me how it is more convenient for them to pick up the check in the morning. Convenient for them? I am not the one calling people all day long, begging for money. They finally decided to come in the afternoon, this time. Well, I overslept and I was awaken by this pounding at the door. I thought it was a police raid or something. They made me feel like I should apologize to them for sleeping. Well, they called again a week later for some more of MY money. I politely asked if they could call back because I was on a long distant call. The jerk had the nerve to ask me if I could hang up on my call because they weren't sure if they could call back. I told him to either call back, or forget about it. He called back during MY dinner time with my daughters. I again told him that it was a bad time since we were eating dinner. He oh so politely told me that I am the one who told him to call back and that I should take the call. That did it, I told him I didn't care how many people were starving, or how many kids were going to be without a Merry Christmas, that if he EVER called my home again, he would be that little kid in the wheelchair begging for money to go to camp...That was 2 months ago...they never called back.
Look, I have nothing against helping people, but if they are expecting us to sympathize with their cause, then they need to be polite and courteous. Bad enough they took my son Sam away from me, they don't have to disturb my time with the two children I still have at home.