Pay Up Please
By Melli (2001/02/13)I hate paying bills. I despise it. Every time I get paid I think, "Wow, I have ALL this money!" Then reality hits...no the utility companies have all this money. The grocery store has all this money. My daughters school has this money, etc etc. I should charge people for something. Each hello, $5.00. A hand shake= $7.50. A ride to the store= $2.00 per 1/4 mile. Lucy on Peanuts had the right idea, charging people for advice. Mind you it was not even good advice. Imagine the amount I can charge to let people cry on my shoulder. I know someday soon we will be charged for the right to breath. We are already expected to pay for child birth, unless you are one of those freaks who decides to bring life into this world on top of the same table you served Thanksgiving dinner. I can imagine that scene..."Hey Carla, did you drop gravy on this tablecloth?"..."No, that's from when junior was born..isn't it lovely?"
You know who bugs me? Those people that pay with checks at the groceries store and then act surprised when they realize that they need a pen and a valid I.D once their purchases are rung up. How many times do you need to go through this scene before they FINALLY understand that the check is not going to write itself and that you need prove that the check indeed belongs to them? They will never learn. Why don't they just get a check card issued by their bank and save me the time and trouble of having to stand behind them in agony while they spend 10 minutes looking inside their purse for a pen and I.D. How I have not killed yet, I will never understand.