Talent
By El Presidente (2000/08/01)Musical Talent?
Is it me or has musical talent vanished from the face of the earth? As I drove to work this morning in my El-Presidente-Mobile, I was assaulted by a local radio station playing what they were passing off as music by a person called 'M and M' or something like that. He kept saying something about being the real Slim Shady, as if I cared. All I could think of was driving my vehicle into the nearest concrete barrier. I know that music is a very personal thing and there is a whole lot of it that I don't care for, but I do acknowledge the talent that used to exist on the airwaves. I hate country music with a passion, but I can admit that some of those Cleetusses play a pretty mean guitar. They have talent. Yes, they use it for evil purposes, but they do have it. By contrast, during the eighties and nineties there was a whole slew of no-talent robots who bought drum machines and used the factory-programmed drum beat to make small fortunes. This includes anything in the Rap genre (I hate to even assign a 'genre' to that cRap) where they were and still are very adept at stealing other people's sounds. Lets face facts: Rap music is the bastard son of Disco and the new "Hip Hop" or whatever the hell it is now is merely a genetically-mutated cousin. Making up words so that you can rhyme your lyrics is hardly talent. Playing the Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 on double-bass may not be commercially viable, but it takes talent and I'll take that any day over the garbage pumped out by such urban Einsteins as Snoop Doggy Dog or the ever-intellectual 'NSync. "But, El Presidente! Surely it takes talent to dance like those boy bands do. You are being unfair." Shut your pie-hole, you whining, pre-pubescent dog! If you want dancing that takes talent you should go see a ballet. Ballet is about as much fun as reading the latest Tirade by Scotty Kowall, but it takes talent. Lip-synching your way into the hearts and souls of millions of hormonally charged thirteen year-olds is not talent. It is evil. Pure evil. Why, even El Presidente could do it (and plans to in the very near future, because money is money) better than Brittney "I'm still a virgin in my mind even though I dress like a whore and encourage little girls to do likewise" Spears. My point is this: People with talent suck quite a bit less than people without talent, and it seems that the people without talent have an uncle in the music business.